Where I live (the UK) I think that psychics have misconceptions about what sensitives are and what it means to be one. Empaths are often mistaken for angelic wall flowers who crumble at any hint of negativity. A year or two ago if someone had called me a sensitive, I would have told them, basically, to fuck off.
The reason why I had an aversion to sensitivity, is because years ago when I first came online, I was met with several self-described empaths who indulged in what can only be described as 'fluff.' (I know this sounds mean, but there is no other way to describe it). These readers gave the impression that if you weren't crying at the news, or heartbroken at the site of a non-organic apple you weren't a sensitive or empath.
At that point, I thought I wasn't emotionally fragile or New Age enough to be a sensitive. I wasn't in touch with the movement of grass during a warm, gentle summer breeze. I was too cold to wear yoga pants in Winter. I didn't own a Holland and Barrett gold membership card.
In my eyes, sensitives tried to be perfect. They were always 'working' on themselves, punishing themselves for their past mistakes. They buried their negative emotions with positive affirmations and washed that down with kiwi shakes. Empaths were superhuman, perfect and weird.
The one personality trait which I had that I used as evidence to convince myself I wasn't an empath was my inability to cope with people's shit. I have always had this habit of taking an instant dislike to certain individuals I meet for unexplainable reasons. I also find it emotionally excruciating to be around people who are overly negative and are filled with drama. Being on social media drains my energy. Every day I need to have time to myself, or I feel overwhelmed. How could I be a love and light lovey dovey sensitive when I had all of these flaws?
As I got older, I realized that one of the reasons that I could not 'deal' with people, is because I had empathetic abilities. In chatting with more psychics and doing a bit of research, I can conclude that many of the traits I display are symptoms of being a sensitive.
During my spiritual journey, I have found that, other than crying too much, the negative aspects of being a sensitive are rarely discussed. The anger and frustration which an empath feels are probably the most prominent aspects of being a sensitive, but these signs are brushed under the carpet in favor of more positive symptoms.
The portrayal of empaths as living angels causes down to earth people to reject the notion that they could be one. I feel that fewer people are openly interested in the spiritual industry and becoming part of it’s communities because they are normal, everyday people. They think that they can't possibly be a sensitive or even a psychic because they are anything but perfect.
In reality, sensitives are not shielded from nasty thoughts. Empaths are just typical people who have the ability to read people, animals even places almost supernaturally. Empathetic abilities manifest as negative emotions and dislikes, and this is why many readers think these things mean that they cannot be a sensitive because they associate empaths with virtuous people.
This post is firstly going to tell you that, if you find it hard to deal with people, you probably are an empath. Part of your discontent with other people is directly related to your abilities. However, problems arise because assholes also don’t have time for people. This conundrum raises a question, how do you tell the difference between your intuition and human emotions like jealousy? How do you know if you’re a sensitive or if you’re just an asshole?
Usually, posts like this will give you a list of 10 ways to tell the difference between intuition and feelings. However, I can give you one trait. The presence of one personality trait is the one sign you will get which will separate your intuition from your feelings. That trait is consideration.
Assholes, don’t care if they're assholes. They don’t stop to question if they are being too harsh by not being that girl's friend. They aren’t worried about how their partner will feel if they tell them they need time to themselves. They will not push the little bit of extra energy they have out of themselves to answer so that they can pick up the phone to their emotional sister at 11 pm.
By contrast to assholes, empaths (who are not sociopathic) care if they hurt people’s feelings. They try to make an effort, because they do not want to let people down, or make them feel unwanted.
However, if you’re an empath, it is paramount for you to listen to your intuition, give yourself space and put yourself first so that you can take care of others. Don’t like someone when you’ve just met? Avoid them like the plague. Too drained to answer that Facebook message? It can wait till tomorrow. Think that client’s energy is too chaotic and needy for you? Send them to someone else.
So, if you feel like you have a tendency to question your empath abilities, do so. I want you to examine your feelings because this shows that you're being genuinely empathetic.
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Lisa Boswell is an award-winning psychic reading teacher who currently resides in Scotland. Through her website DivinationAndFortuneTelling.com she teaches both experienced and would be diviners how they can predict the future.
Born into a Romany Gypsy family of fortune tellers, Lisa has had an active interest in the occult from a young age. She specialises in teaching predictive divination, easy mediumship and fortune-telling. Learn more here.