Two years ago, I introduced my first blog, fortunetellerlisaboswell with an article originally called ‘Lessons on Destiny.' The post spoke about how I began to read professionally as an adult and the lessons I had learned which led up to that point. Back then, I thought I knew everything. I was naïve enough to believe I had been taught every lesson there was to know and that I would sail by for the rest of my life. I thought my old website would last me forever. When it came to everything, I was wrong.
Giving readings made me happy, but every time I traveled to a reading I could feel there was something missing. I had a bigger mission to fulfil, one which would require insane amounts of dedication, focus, and lack of horsing around.
I had my blog and was working as a professional reader. After the first post, I blogged about everything I was interested in including Tarot, Lenormand, social media, dream interpretation, culture; if it was of interest to diviners, I was writing up posts. I was making good money being a reader, and I should have been happy, but I wasn’t.
I slowly began to realize that I cared a lot more about writing my blog and educating would be diviners than I did about giving readings. I kept this information a secret because I didn’t want to upset people; my family, my students, and especially my clients, some of whom I had been reading since I was ten years old. I also knew that people would think I was stupid for wanting to try my hand in such a competitive market. So, I bottled my feelings up and didn’t say anything.
I could feel my intuition and spirits telling me I was doing the wrong thing by not pursuing teaching and coaching. The desire burned inside of me, but I squashed it further and further down till it created this massive pressure which weighed on me every single day. My only release was publishing a blog post, but every time I did my happiness would be a reminder that giving readings was not what I wanted.
A clique in children’s films is that of the hero who has to choose between two paths on a road or river. One path appears all sunshine and rainbows; the other path seems dark and scary. When the hero chooses the road which seems easiest, it turns out to be a living nightmare. By contrast, the way which looked most difficult is actually the smooth. When listening to your intuition, you are that hero. Although the initial push to follow your gut takes effort and seems fearful, you are supported while making that leap. If you do not heed your inner calling, and take the ‘easy’ way out God, the spirits and the universe put obstacles and lessons in your path until you listen to yourself and change direction.
While giving readings, writing and concentrating on my blog, I thought I was superwoman. I was putting in 18 hour days, seven days a week thinking I was in control. I believed I could continue that way forever until I became sick. I developed a medical condition which caused me to have arthritis, tendonitis and carpal tunnel along with begin horribly ill. I was in and out of the hospital with problems with my liver and kidneys. I lost 3 of my molars. At that point, I was still heavily in denial; I performed email readings from my hospital bed so that my clients would get them on time.
Around the time I was ill, I had developed a friendship with another reader. She reeled me in with this bizarre story of what an ex-friend did to her and how hurt she was. She also had some other things going on at the time, and I will be honest, I felt sorry for her. We became close friends and talked every day, sometimes all day.
Eventually, she began to do things which rubbed me up the wrong way; I noticed she was plagiarizing my work and running with business ideas I had shared with her. To be honest, it wasn’t just business stuff; she overhauled her image to be like mine, and she started claiming to have the same very specific experiences I did. Things she told me when I first knew her about herself, her spirituality, reading style and her upbringing varied considerably to her new public persona. I then noticed that she began to adopt aspects of other people she had met.
Every time I spoke to her, I could feel my spirits screaming at me to cut her off and that she was trouble. However, by this point, I had seen the over the top lengths she went to, what she called, ‘ruin’ her ex-friends and their businesses and I was too ill to deal with her crazy; I just plodded along, dragging myself through each day. I told myself I would deal with all of this in the future.
In the Summer of 2015 I took time off of work due to stress and survived off of my savings from fortune-telling. By this point I had a vision of everything I wanted my website to be; a place to help readers improve, promote and perform their readings. I registered the domain, wrote content, began work on courses and hired people to design the branding. I longed just to go for it, but I held back, how would I create it? I knew a Herculean effort would be needed to pull it off, and I just didn’t have the courage for that.
For the first time, I began to research blogging seriously. I read post after post which told me that my dream would fail. Each article opened with a warning that I had to ‘niche down’ if I wanted to make a career from blogging and teaching. Apparently, my interest was too varied, the site would have no vision, there was no point in even trying.
The truth is, I cared so much about the project that I didn’t want to attempt it in case it failed. I would have rather dreamed a dream than risk losing it. I also knew that, because I was doing it, my friend would attempt a similar concept and I wanted to salvage our relationship. When it came to our friendship, I didn’t want to know the truth because I knew I was a fool for overlooking the obvious for so long. Because I had loved her like a sister, part of me couldn’t admit to myself that she was only using me to advance her career.
I decided that, for the time being, I was going to focus on helping psychics with their businesses, blogging, and social media and put teaching how to give readings on hold. I had previously written posts on my website on the subject and marketing was something which came naturally to me. Because the coaching blogs I read had told me that I had to niche down, I realized I might have to delete my Fortune Telling blog.
At that point, I had everything going for me. That last year, I was making bank. Just from payment from email readings that year I bought a 50 inch TV, IPhones, IMacs, new couches and had Christmas pre-paid for in March. I won an award, Young Tarosophist of the Year. In email subscribers alone, my blog had amassed 4600 followers in 12 months. Due to being linked by Hay House authors, my site ranked on the top page of Google for terms like “gypsy fortune telling” “real fortune teller” and “Lenormand” among other things. It was in the top 5 million websites in the world for traffic. My blog posts regularly went viral, and I was getting tons of emails every day from people wanting readings and to interview me for their magazines and radio. However, the site had its problems.
When I first started the blog, I made the mistake of typing articles on mobile which didn’t pick up all of my spelling mistakes; I put one post through Grammarly, and it flagged up 300 spelling and grammar errors. I didn’t have the strength to fix everything. Because I had tendonitis in my rotary cuff, I was in agony every day; the pain was unbearable. I just couldn’t take the thought of having to comb through my website and I naïvely thought starting again was a quick fix.
The state of my site, the pressure on me, the advice from ‘experts’ and my plagiarizing friend was bad enough, but the excruciating pain pushed me over the edge. After I had got a sign from my spirits for the go ahead, I sat on my couch, laptop on my knees, crying my eyes out. One by one, I moved everything from my old website into the trashcan and pressed ‘delete site.' In an hour, everything was gone, just like that.
I began work on my new site, a business development website for psychics, and was optimistic. I wrote the course, blogs, giveaways for email subscribers, even social media posts. I also put a considerable amount of money into the site’s development, a new computer, and software. Before my company launched, I began to market it to build up interest.
Stupidly, because my idea was different from anything my then friend or I had done at length previously, I didn’t think she would attempt the same thing. At that time she was paying a developer to build her a new website, which she showed me, and it was vastly different from my vision. However, within weeks she had scrapped the developed site for an entirely new one where she discussed business development for diviners.
She did things which were unforgivable, the details of which I would rather keep out of this post. But she knows what she did then and in the aftermath were wrong and took me for an idiot.
One night, fresh out of the hospital, I lay in my bed in a rage. I was in so much pain; both physically and emotionally. I had lost everything, given up all I had for her to come along and do what she did. I got out of my bed, scrolled through my phone and blocked her from any communication with me; all social media, email, contact, everything. I didn’t have it out with her in a screaming match because I didn’t feel I owed her that, she had already taken so much from me I wasn’t giving her my energy or the satisfaction of seeing how hurt I was.
She was about to launch another much-anticipated project, and she used her newfound popularity to affect my business. It didn’t take long before she ‘outted’ me on social media for cutting her off. Her friends said that I should have considered myself lucky that someone like her would copy from me. Mutual friends of ours began to unfollow and sub me. Our mutual friends (friends I had previously sent clients to and advertised for free on my old site and social media) had told me that I should overlook what she did so we could all remain friends; when I refused they also turned against me. For around six months, a lot of people had turned their backs on me because of her.
I tried again with a new site, but because it was created during this drama, the love was gone. Because I didn’t want to keep things going with my ex-friend, I scrapped my business development idea so that site sat in limbo. I didn’t want to put too much into it because deep down I knew there a dark cloud hanging over it which I associated with loss. Every time I looked at that site I had nothing but painful memories. I hit rock bottom, and all I had was readings which I now secretly hated.
There wasn’t a day, an hour minutes which went past that I didn't think about my deleted Fortune Teller site and how I could have turned it into an epic resource for diviners. I just couldn’t believe that I let things get so out of hand that I threw away my dream. I could have had all of those blog posts I had spent all of that time writing. For nearly one year I had been writing divination and spiritual articles for fun, which I stored on my computer. When I thought about my old blog, I fantasized about how my new articles would look on my old blog and how I could have had them organized by subject.
Mourning my first blog made me hate my second one even more. I decided that it was the end, and I pulled the plug on my second site. I registered the name for For Prediction, with the tagline "divination, education, spirituality." (I changed the site name to This Called Me because name is less restrictive). I developed it, put out a few blogs and sat on it over the summer of 2016 until I mustered up the courage to make it what I truly wanted.
Previously, I had signed a contract for a company which puts psychics on the TV. The work was easy; the money was great, but I could hear my spirits whispering that I was running away from my problems and wasting time promoting my readings when I could be working on what I really wanted to do; writing books and creating my online diviner's resource.
August, rolled round, and I was meant to be appearing on a TV show live via webcam. That night while I was putting my makeup on in the mirror, I heard a spirit tell me that I was doing the wrong thing.
In the dark, literally five minutes before I went live I walked into my living room, and I could feel my granddad’s spirit. I said, “granddad I need a sign. I need you to tell me if I am doing the right thing here”. When it was time for me to read on air, they had technical difficulties, and I wasn’t able to perform any readings. I took this as my sign from my granddad I was to focus on developing For Prediction into what I dreamed. I slowly began to come to terms with everything and tried to deal with the loss of my Fortune Teller blog.
Not long after this incident, I had a dream about the Goddess Kali. I was at a Hindu wedding in a Christian church, and she was the bride. As she walked past me, she smiled.
During August and September, I just wrote and wrote blog posts. One day, as I wrote, I received a message from a woman. The woman was messaging me because she had also had a fall out with my ex-friend and going through a similar situation with her.
We got talking, and I realized we shared other similar interests and experiences; she was a devotee of Kali and had been initiated into her cult in India. I found it odd we had found each other due to my dream a couple of weeks earlier. In passing conversation, she alerted me to an online website archive. I realized that my old blogs and website might have been saved, somehow.
I went to the archive, and there were my old website and blog posts. I could copy them, edit them and use them to kick-start my vision for my company. I intend on going for my dream and making this website a resource for diviners whether they are looking to improve their readings, develop their blog or promote their readings.
This time a year ago or even six months ago, I had no idea all of this would have been possible. Looking at my website now, I am glad all of this took place. I no longer mourn my old site, because this site is all I ever wanted and all I ever will want.
I am floored that the universe, the spirits, God and the Goddess have to lead me to this. I honestly will never question my faith or intuition ever again; I cannot believe how everything turned out and turned around so quickly once I stayed true to my heart.
One thing I have learned is gratitude for all that has happened because I know that I am moving in the right direction. I am grateful for the good days and the bad days. I am grateful for the people who showed me their true colors and either left me or stayed to cheer on this vision. I am grateful for all of the signs I got and the spirits who pushed me in the right direction. I am thankful for old friends, new friends, lessons old and new.
So, this is how we got here; this is a website built on a vision, faith, and guidance by spirit.
Thank you for reading its story.
May spirit be with you, always
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